Shows up after work's done to sink regulatory fangs into your launch plans.
Appears only when something’s already live and insists it’s non-compliant. Sinks their teeth into a dashboard right before exec review. Sucks the joy from any report containing “Location” or “Age.” Doesn’t sleep, only audits.
"The dashboard was live for 13 minutes before the Compliance Vampire appeared in legal’s inbox, demanding a privacy review, a data purge, and possibly our souls."
